I suffered the same thoughts for years. After asking God to forgive me, I returned to my old ways. It reached the point where I couldn't care less about what God thought.
Struggling with God's Forgiveness or Forgiving Yourself?
Wondering How Many Times Does God Forgive Me?
Who I Was
Stephen “Stevie” DiCenso was a member of the Mafia’s renegade faction in Greater Boston in the 1990s. The crimes he committed were the most notorious at the time. He was connected to a crew that robbed and kidnapped drug dealers and sold drugs. Another member would be named in the vicious murder of infamous Mafia informant Whitey Bulger. Stevie was the lowest of lowlifes who hit rock bottom, even flat-lining for several minutes after OD’ing on heroin. He didn’t die because God had a plan for his life.
Stevie's Past Blocked His Feeling God's Forgiveness
While incarcerated, Stevie managed to pick up a Bible and learn about Jesus. A believer then suggested he read the sinner's prayer. Stevie even started attending Bible studies for help growing in the faith. But no matter what he did, his bloodstained hands wouldn't come clean.
Stevie vowed to give up his favorite sin if God let him out. He was then released but returned to the old ways. Conviction struck as his sentencing neared. Stevie received fifteen years after praying for time served and to be made a better believer. He blamed himself. Guilt consumed Stevie to the point he'd beat himself up.
God Wiped Stevie's Filthy Conscience Clean
The fifteenth anniversary of Stevie's horrific crime came and went. The next day it dawned on him that he forgot to fast. Stevie cried out to God, “I’m so sorry! I’ll start fasting tomorrow!”
A voice spoke to him when he reached the cell’s doorway. “I’ve forgiven you already. Now it’s time to forgive yourself.” No way! Stevie thought. That’s the best news! Forgiven of everything!
Stevie's sins were great, but God forgave him, someone who was told he could face the death penalty.
Think You or a Loved One Is Past God Forgiveness?
This Book Was Written for You!
Divine Retribution is the incredible redemption story of how Stevie’s life was turned upside down and then right side up.
Despite a dysfunctional home environment, wrong associations, terrible choices, lifelong immoral habits, addictions, and harsh criminal activity, God’s mercy and grace did what nothing else could—all within prison walls.
Stevie’s life is a testimony to the power of God’s forgiveness.